Growing up, I thought that it wasn’t important to tell anyone what and how you feel. Most of the time I suppressed my emotions because I didn’t want anyone to think that I’m emotionally weak. I was also afraid that if I express myself too much, I’d get to hear stuff like oh, that’s not something to be sad about or oh I can’t believe you’re crying over this. This is what made me block any kind of pain that I felt and I simply didn’t talk about anything that was going on in my mind. Only when all my suppressed thoughts and feelings came out with a vengeance is when I realized that not expressing myself at the time was the worst thing I did to myself. I think most of it came from the fact that I didn’t realize that there were people around me who would listen and not judge. We live in a society where we DO get judged for how we feel and not everyone has the time or patience to listen. We get afraid to express ourselves also because of what people might think of us. Either this or the fact that we think we don’t have time and that if we don’t feel the pain, we can continue getting on with our lives.
It’s important for your mental health that you surround yourself with a few family members and friends who you think won’t judge you for expressing yourself. Although I’ve learnt how important it is to express, I still find it a bit uncomfortable to talk to someone about it so I’ve started to write about how I feel. For me, 2016 was the year when I got rid of all the toxic people from my life and I limited my social circle, I’m still left with a few close friends who actually do listen to me when I’m having an emotional breakdown. When it happened to me, I started to study deeply about it and I came across one of Paulo Coelho’s quotes that has become one of my favorites.
“If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.” – Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I sat Down and Wept.
This made me realize that you must always let pain enter so that it can teach you something and change you as it leaves. Suppressing it will make the emotion you’re feeling even stronger and when it comes back it probably won’t even be as bad as it was before.
So let pain come and go, because you have a life to live!